hafta wanna

I really don't like to think about "life after" . For me it's kind of expectations (from life- speaking about expectations from myself is totally different)- you have to think -even  just a little bit about future. I have no future. I have present.  Just present time is  given , past is over and  who knows what with future? I don't. I can expect, but it can fail. I and i don't wanna if i don't hafta. I   I like to dream, i love to be inspired,i like changes i like to do it- but now. Of course it can include no closer  time- but expectations  are tricky.  That's why i don't believe in big enlightenment after high school. You are the same person who woke up day before. Truly saying after ending some part of life you won't have three wishes to make. However some of the experience can make you more mature  and by putting effort to something, by longer period of life you can make changes. Not always good,  but no worries - you would learn (i hope so) at your made mistakes.

Here i think that it was really hard to write about things that normally nobody understand my way of thinking,  that part of myself. Thats the most clear point that i could made. Future post are going to be more clear :).

Things that have priority in my life - priorities set up by myself of course i like to do more. Lately i see that i have to have some point in my life. Since i got that i expect here to be happy to finally have what i was trying to get.  Pushing myself to do that is harder than doing required work as homework. In that case point where i go is seeing it by myself.

From another people i expect that they would use as much of their possibilities as they can. I now is pathetic and a little bit dream of little child. I just like to not lose hope that life can be better second by second.

It was hard for me to write that all. Not because of using foreign language -finding wants to do that was harder but I wanted to. Cause i met question -  To be or not to be?

TO BE!